The Clandie Shoppe

The Clandie Shoppe is part of the clandies…

And within the Clandie Shoppe, a number of things are… sold!

at The CLANDIE SHOPPE,

          you can buy:

  • Merch. Yes. Candles. T shirts. Caps. Pens. Get them. Get them all and eat them. Wear them. Eat them and wear them. Prouuuuuudddddleeee!
  • Readings. From clandies of ours and banned books of all sorts too. Hear the unbearable. See the unseeable. Apostasies galore!! 
  • Performances. For small groups or large. Customized. With all sorts of secrets revealed. Truths and more truths. And dares!!
  • Le chaise. The aperformative masterpiece. A candid as can be a portrait of academia. 
  • Fictional identities. You need them. We got them. Or we can make them up. Together. You tell us tales. We make up people. And names. 
  • Pseudonyms. See above. 
  • Secret meetings to discuss whatever. Happy to confab and plot. We know the places. We know the… plots! 
  • Concepts that you can think about involving in clandestine stuff. Maps and operations and… we can show and tell. Maps of yesterdays and yesteryears. Operations old and new. Military. Industrial. Military-Industrial. Whole shebang. 
  • Buy faux tales and nonsensical conspiracy theories. And real alternative theories. This is our grand expertise. From actual alternative theories to crazy conspiracy ones that undermine legitimate alternative takes… the whole spectrum depending on whom you’re trying to impress, win over, convince, inspire, brainwash. 
  • Misdirection machine. At least a narrative that tells you how to build one. Well even hire the machinists. 
  • Popcorn machine or use the popcorn machine for a fee and get a candy. The popcorn machine! lol at it in the corner popping up all sorts of old and new clandicorns! Go. Go get yourself a whole packet of clandicorn: popcorn coming from parts unknown and with all sorts of secret messages. Brought to you by your friendly concierge! (Yeah, it’s just popcorn with clandestine message!!)
  • Other machines upon request. Commission. We cnd draw them and never build them nor if you’d like. Could even build them. 
  • HooIzU cards  in convo. Do you really know yourself? Grab some of these cards. And answer the questions truthfully! !
  • Theory of a-performance. From Le Chaise. Get the book. Or read intro for the theory and practice. On sale. With an ADA. 
  • Board game. Maybe. Too lazy to do it. An advance would help. 
  • Posters. (Poster, actually, leading to all this.)
  • Manifesto. Ahhh. Yes. The Manifesto! How we have to counter total surveillance. And total irrelevance. And identity associations. No more! The clandies will set us free!!
  • Texts. All these are the texts.  It and we’ll make more. 
  • Scrolls 
  • Drawings. They. Demonstrate. Veiling and un-transparency. Mystery. Uncertainty. Am I guilty? 
  • Take a text. Take. Take. Take!! Secrets. Government and more. Declassified. And more. 
  • Workshops and sessions. For sure we do this for a fee. About awareness and consciousness. About creating your new identities. About navigating hyper surveillance. About navigating, period. 
  • Type of surveillance. Gathering to discuss Review of all Surveillance mechanisms. 
  • Invitation to dinner. Just like that. Convo around all things clandistan and more. 
  • Invitation to ritual. Building this. Walk and more. Run. Secret gathering. 
  • Sneak peeks and behind the scenes. And parts of texts I took out. Metaclandie one could say. Behind the scenes of clandestine operations. Clandestine plans! Official and private. All the debates. All the ponderings. The doubts. The queries. 
  • Setups that invite the revelations: anti clandies! Candles, dark rooms, summoning. These gatherings might seem strange, but they will be revealing. And perhaps even… entertaining. 
  • A full list of taxonomy. And how you can do more. Sell the taxonomy. Just a few pennies really but still. Conceptual frameworks really. 
  • RSPR examination and interaction. An hour in that space. Can’t say more about RSPR, but it merits a meditation on social matters and issues. 
  • Wrappers with fake names + different types of candies and stuff on top. The second most popular item. Because…
  • Candies! The clandie candies! The most popular items. What’s a clandies shoppe without actual candies? Shrouded in a different kind of mystery. With all sorts of clandestine messaging. Or suggestions. Or ambiguous provocations. Also: the messages and phrases can be bought separately, to make accompany whatever candy you like. (Advance notice is required. And the topic of clandestine phrases can be customized!)
  • Gift bags! With a variety of clandies. You can purchase pre-made gift bags or make your own. Check items you’d like placed in your Clandie Bag, and our wonderful staff will put it together for you. (Beware. We might include unanticipated and not-requested clandies. From harmless objects to dangerous missions you might have to undertake. The whole spectrum. And you can’t back out!)
  • Candies with strategies of being clandestine. Clandie cookies: give strategies of clandestine operations in daily life. (A lot of advance notice is required!)
  • Books banned at some point. And for real. We can lead you to sites and places that list them. A service. Minimum expense. Can be included for free in a Clandie bag. Same with historical clandestine operations. 
  • The Clandie Clan. Membership in the group that intervenes socially and politically for a variety of purposes and causes. With different, at times controversial, methods. Paradoxically, it’s a paid membership at beginning, but once you’re sure you’re in, and for the long haul, it will be free. (And you’ll know… you’ll know…)

 

Realms where clandies are operational:

  • Operations
  • Identities
  • Projects
  • Plans
  • Places. Meeting. 
  • Territories. (Like, not on a map)
  • Documents
  • Taxonomies
  • Meetings
  • Oeuvre 
  • Pieces
  • Texts that are themselves about clandestinité.

*

Overall on the Clandies:

‘The Clandies’ (short for Clandestine works) are works that are clandestine in different ways, and through different modalities (customized distribution mechanisms, private showings, etc.) that is: for each entity (human or other).

The first Clandie was Le Chaise (Yes, Le), publiced in 2016. (That’s right: it’s ‘publiced’, as in ‘made public’, sounds like ‘publiked’–not a typo!) Since, I have generated shorter works that are also Clandies. As a consequence of this innovative clandestine and selective public-making, the FIRST iteration of this disseminatory practice goes into the books as the official year/time it was public-ed.

(Some works may become more conventionally public at some point, they may have a more conventional public-ation. In any case, the first ‘edition’ will always correspond to the date it was first ‘public-ed’. When the year/time of the work being public-ed corresponds to a year it was also more widely and conventionally distributed, the public-ation date corresponds to the public-ed-ation date. Again though, in all cases, the date of the first public-ed-ation is forever referred to as the date of the first public-making, and goes down as such in all books.)